My Relationship with Books

I'm not one to like being dictated into what to do, what to say or believe but when I see lists of books, films, artwork or television shows that are classed as musts then I can't help but want to experience these cultural epochs. Today it was brought to my attention a list published by The Guardian of 1000 books you must read so of course I've sat and worked out how many I've read.
Total: 73

I was a little shocked at this, I generally consider myself well read than most people. (perks of chronic illness means lots of reading time) Alot of the books on the list are ones I either currently have in my 'to read' pile or are books I want to read as soon as I find them in second hand shops and/or are bought for me. I think as a result of this I've realised my taste in books varies alot: there were books I've read in each of the genres and for this I'm quite proud. I'm a girl who's hard to pin down, who has tastes in varied things and therefore experiences so many different kinds of books. I like books that have meaning, that can transport me to another reality, that stay with me long after I've read their words. Maybe in that sense I'm a bit of a book romanticist, but they truly are some of my most treasured possessions. 99% of the time I will read a book even if it's boring me in the optimistic hope that it'll get better. I'm the type of person who always has a book in her bag, who never travels without at least one literary companion. Now I have a kindle as well I can carry lots of books with me at once, though it'll never replace the comfort of the typed words, the grainy texture and smell of a book in my hands.

Next week I'm getting 100 new paperbacks for £12, thanks to an advertisement in the local Sainsburys. I can't wait to sift through the titles and imagine what these books have seen before their life in a woman's attic (this makes me sad..). Some of the books are children's Enid Blyton's from the sixties and since my Mum sadly had to part with her copies I'm looking forward to reliving some beautiful childhood memories of sitting with my Mum's battered copies in the garden, or lying on my bed on rainy weekends filling my head with fantasy and adventure.

I wouldn't be who I am without books. Even from an early age the written word spoke to me, my Mum recalls times I got into trouble for refusing to leave book sections in shops. Being a bit of a loner in school with not many friends I sought comfort in books and would spend lunchtimes in the library huddled into a corner with a new favourite story. It wasn't just fiction, my Mum once inherited several huge encyclopaedias of science and I remember sitting in the hallway engrossed into the life of a star or learning about new and fantastic creatures I knew nothing about.

I guess my books are my faithful friends, I could never part with them as everyone I've read holds a part of my soul.



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To see what I'm currently reading and reviews check out my Goodreeads account: Amy Maries.
I also post pictures of my latest purchases and what I'm reading on my instagram: missamykatherine

Northern Ireland Advenutures: Dunluce Castle

Dunluce Castle, a hidden Northern Irish gem.

Driving along the Northern Irish north coast between Portrush and Portballintrae it's hard to not notice the looming ruins of a castle seeming to rise from the sea. Hanging on from the basalt cliff face it's although the castle is a part natural part human made structure. This is Dunluce Castle.

The History: 

View to the East when standing in the castle. I stood here watching the birdlife for several minutes totally absorbed in the atmosphere of the place.

In the 13th century when Richard Og de Burgh, the second Earl of the kingdom of Ulster, built the formidable structure rising up from the cliffs. However there is no documented ownership of the property until 1513 when the McQuillan family built two large drum towers (30ft diameter). The McQuillans had used Dunluce to build a stronghold while they were Lords of the local territory; known as 'the Route'. The McQuillans were the holders of Dunluce and 'The Route' until the mid-late 16th century when they were displaced by the MacDonalds.

View out one of the windows towards Portrush.

On the death of James MacDonald the Antrim Glens and the Route were taken by a younger brother, Sorley Boy MacDonnell. Sorley Boy improved the castle into a more traditional Scottish style and swore allegiance to Queen Elizabeth I. The Route was important to the British Crown as it's part of the main trading routes between Scotland and Ireland, it also secured British rule with the MacDonnell's swearing their allegiance. Due to Sorley Boy's decisions his son Randal was made the 1st Earl of Antrim by King James I. 

Jonathan looking taller than the castle!

More improvements and changes were made to the castle during this time. when the Girona, a galleass from the Spanish Armada was wrecked nearby the cannon from the ship was installed into one of the gatehouses and the rest of the cargo sold to make money for more restoration work. During the 17th century part of the kitchen collapsed into the sea due to the castle being built on the cliff edge. After this the castle was abandoned over time. with the impoverishment of the MacDonnell's during the Battle of the Boyne in 1690 the castle has deteriorated and parts taken for other buildings nearby. 

Dunluce Town: 

When Randal MacDonnell was in charge of Dunluce he began working on a town around the castle's grounds. Started around 1608 the town was eventually destroyed in 1641 during the Irish Uprising. In 2011 a major archaeological project has begun to find significant remains of the lost town. Finding's include the discovery of a complex street network built on a revolutionary grid system and indoor toilets in homes. To this date it's believed that 95% of the town is still to be discovered. 

Yay, tourist adventures!

Now: 

Visiting now brings you to a small vistior centre with a modest visitor fee. Due to the small amount of funding and relience of volunteers the centre is small but well informed. The walls include a detailed history of the castle and an interactive video playing every few minutes gives a more visual history. Also provided to a visitor is audio guide which you can take with you as you explore the ruins. Dunluce was a small stronghold and access is by walking over a bridge. 

Access bridge, not for the faint hearted! I had a little panic as I'm scared of heights. ^^;

The actual castle has little in the way of information bar the audio guide, which I found informative and gave you the castle from the perspective of one of the past owners, workers or visitors. Included is a separate guide for children. The views from the castle are stunning, however disabled people will probably have trouble with the steps and uneven flooring. Luckily I visited on a quiet Friday afternoon and my boyfriend and I were some of the only visitors which made the experience more enjoyable for us, as we dislike crowds. I felt I was able to absorb the atmosphere more acutely and I will be following for more information of the archaeological finds from the lost town of Dunluce in the future. From someone who has studied heritage I was impressed with the castle, I understood they are working on a very limited budget and what they have achieved they should be pleased with, though there's always room for improvements! I'd like to see more to enchant children as I could imagine most typical children under 10 getting very bored very fast. But overall a very enjoyable experience of somewhere I knew nothing about. One of Northern Ireland's little gems.  

I honestly think ruins and anything that is touched by the passage of time are some of my favourite places. 

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This is the first part of an ongoing series logging my adventures in Northern Ireland, where my boyfriend, Jonathan, lives. I'll put snippets of where we visit and share my thoughts of the place along with any local history or culture. 

Hannibal - A Review

The main cast of NBC's new show, Hannibal. 

Ever since I was about fifteen years old and I first watched Silence of the Lambs, starring Jodie Foster and Anthony Hopkins, I've been captivated by the character of Hannibal Lecter. I think at that age I was only just really beginning to understand intellectual and psychological evil and so the first character I found that embraced these ideas, Hannibal Lectoe, has never left me. Since watching that film I've read all the books based on Hannibal by Thomas Harris (bar Red Dragon cos I'm searching secondhand shops cos I want it in hardback) and my understanding has deepened into the mindset of this character and how he is an inspiration for other writers, psychologists and general people like me. In my third year of uni I had to do an textual analysis essay on 'evil' and the first thought in my head was Hannibal Lecter. I re-read Silence of the Lambs and then wrote an essay describing how Hannibal embodies the word 'evil' in his character. It was fun to work on, and I still have a list of books on my amazon wishlist which go further into the subject. 

Anthony Hopkins in his award winning performance as Hannibal Lecter

So when I heard about NBC's new show Hannibal my interest was immediately pipped. I have several tv shows I want to watch but as I travel to Northern Ireland for three weeks Wednesday I didn't want to start a show with several seasons as I won't have internet access there. Hannibal is only in its first season and so far only has 11 episodes, (2 more to air), I thought perfect! So yesterday evening with a cup of tea in hand I watched the first episode and I can tell you it's the best show I've watched this year so far! 

Hugh Dancy as FBI's Will Graham brings a new take on the character,.

The story is almost a prequel to Red Dragon, and explores the relationship between Hannibal Lecter and FBI Investigator Will Graham before the events depicted in Red Dragon. It's allowed a Hannibal fan to delve deeper into the psychiatry and understanding of this sociopath. It also gives the chance for the audience to understand Will Graham more, in the book he's alot more complex than shown in the films, I also like how he's put closer onto the autism spectrum, adding more definition and realism to the character. Hugh Dancy does an excellent job of making the character socially awkward but also likeable, it reminds me of Emily Deschanel as Dr Temperance Brennan in Bones but with a much darker twist. Mads Mikkelsen is equally well cast in the role of Hannibal, that almost knocks Anthony Hopkins award winning performance out the water. He's managed to, if at all possible, make Hannibal an even more intriguing character and fans of the series know he's a dangerous person to be involved with, a high-functioning sociopath with unusual eating habits. Overall the acting so far has been top notch and I couldn't have asked for a better cast in general which features some new names for me and some well known ones too. 

Mads Mikkelsen brings the sociapathic lover of mind games Hannibal Lecter back to life.

I think my favourite part about this series is how Bryan Fuller (previous work includes the tv show Heroes) has developed it into something really captivating. The style of the tv show, billed as psychological thriller, reminds me mostly of Hitchcock and Lynch (which after reading up I'm not the only person to draw these comparisons). Fuller has admitted as well he's highly influenced by Lynch's work which I think can mostly be seen in the cinematography and imagery, Graham's 'flashes' into a murderers mind being the biggest example reminiscent of Lynch's use of dreams and dreamlike imagery in his work. Yes, it has it's moments of gore and blood but it's done in such an artistic manner that it does almost seem dream like and highly stylised. 

Overall this is a fantastic series so far and you can tell I'm in love after only five episodes! I can't wait to see where Fuller takes us next in his journey of unveiling the Lecter-Graham relationship. I really think that Fuller has been able to take a well known and well loved series of books and films and turn them into something unique, artistic and thrilling. It's new ground for fans of the series, and despite some changes I think fans of the original books and the film series will be impressed. 

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For anyone interested here's the short essay I wrote on Lecter.
It's a short essay and was a nightmare to write as I had to cut so much out! It was for a philosophy/cultural studies class to explain the context.

Textual Analysis: A Study Into The Evil of Dr Hannibal Lecter in Silence of The Lambs.

By: Amy Maries. 

One of the most horrifying and influential villains from twentieth century fiction is Thomas Harris’s, Dr Hannibal Lecter. His fame comes from a trilogy of Harris’s books where the sociopath, cannibalistic psychologist is often enlisted to aid the FBI with cases of serial murderers, including that of the second novel Silence of the Lambs. Hannibal is often described as an evil person and a monster; the horror novelist Steven King described Lecter as ‘the great fictional monster of our time’1, but if one examines Harris’s work further one can find parts of Lecter’s character that reinforce ideas from great philosophers of the past whose ideas have shaped how we view evil in terms or morality or psychology. 

Hannibal Lecter acknowledges the evil within him as intrinsic to his nature and part of who he is. When asked what caused him to murder and commit cannibalism by Clarice Starling he replies, 

‘Nothing happened to me, Officer Starling. I happened. You can’t reduce me to a set of influences. You’ve given up good and evil for behaviourism, Officer Starling. You’ve got everybody in moral dignity pants – nothing is ever anybody’s fault.’ (Harris, pg 21)

Immanuel Kant argues differently when he examines evil in his work, Radical Evil in Human Nature. Kant argues first by stating that ‘man is (by nature) either morally good or morally evil’ (Kant, 1960).  Kant argues that there are two types of evil, radical and diabolical evil. In Lecter’s case the idea of radical evil comes into play. This is the evil, which is described as being one of free choice an evil act of ones free will.  Lecter chooses to commit the crimes he does, the reasons for this are not important compared to the consequences the undeniable fact that he murders people and eats them is an act of his own free will. Kant argues that man has the choice, by nature to be ‘morally good or morally evil’ (Kant, 1960). Lecter has chosen to be morally evil and therefore faces the consequences of these actions, which in the novel means he is placed in Baltimore’s Prison for the Criminally Insane under the charge of Dr Chilton. Chilton has interesting things to say about Lecter and he is able to observe that Lecter is ‘a pure sociopath, that obviously what he is. But he’s impenetrable, much too sophisticated for the standard tests.’ (Harris, 1988) Unable to diagnose any mental illness that would directly affect Lecter’s free will and therefore whether the acts of evil he commits are done under his free will there leaves little objection to the fact that Lecter gave in to the darker side of human nature. 

This point of view is also argued in the realm of psychology with the father of psychoanalysis, Sigmund Freud. Freud, like Kant argues that humans are very much capable of evil acts and he relates this to his observations as a psychiatrist working during the events of the Second World War and the evil atrocities that occurred during that time period. Freud argued that our psyche is driven by two main desires, which he named the life drive and the death drive. The theory of the two drives was developed in Beyond The Pleasure Principle (Freud, 1920), and he argues that the two desires are constantly conflicting with each other. Freud looks at the relationship between pleasure and unpleasure to link to the two drives to explain them. This link can go deeper and look at the concepts of sadomasochism and masochism; this adds Lecter into the equation as in this sense although his crimes are not of a sexual nature he still shows some signs of being a sadist. He must derive pleasure from his evil acts or he would not commit them. When he attacks Officer pembry and boyle he enjoys the acts as he speaks to Pembry before he finally kills him and shows no disgust to the deaths or the manner of the deaths. Nor is it described later that he showed any disgust to the wearing of Pembry’s skin to escape in the ambulance. Therefore to be able to commit these crimes he must have derived some pleasure from the acts.  

Lecter is in control of his actions but he does derive pleasure from these actions, even though they seemingly have no physical effect, after the attacks on the officers although his pulse elevates to over one hundred they quickly slow back to normal.  Fuss argues that ‘Hannibal Lecter acts out the most instinctual and primitive of libidinal impulses coding him within the narrative as yet another dangerous pervert whose sexual desire is sublimated into compulsive acts of aggression identification’ (Fuss, 1995). He goes even further than this arguing that Lecter possesses ‘one of the most serious transgressions against the social prohibition separating the inedible from the edible; the human from the animal’ (Fuss 1995). Lecter is highly sophisticated in this, and generally only kills those he knows who deserve death or those who get in his way, the guards during his escape for example. This allows him to separate his possible victims as Fuss argues into animals and humans, he feels justified in his actions as that he could argue he is acting out the will of the life drive, his survival drive. However, he is giving into his own nature and his own inner aggression (which all of us possess) and acting out with the crimes of murder and cannibalism. 

Most argue that it is the cannibalism that is the defining act that makes Lecter an evil, monstrous person to the eyes of the readers and many critics. Cina and Perper argue that this is because by consuming his victims and occasionally serving them to others he is exercising the greatest control over them; he absorbs them completely in the act of eating them and therefore strips them of everything they have left, including their physical bodies (Cina and Perper 2010). He gives himself an ultimate feeling of power and satisfaction, he is able to take everything from a person, without any consciousness of guilt, and he enjoys his violent nature. It is unclear why Lecter begun committing acts of murder and cannibalism but it is understood in Red Dragon, Harris’s earlier novel, that his sister was murdered and consumed in Lithuania in 1944. Although this may have given the idea of cannibalism to Lecter it does not excuse his actions, as Kant and Freud argue he still had the conscious choice to make and he gave into moral evil and his aggressive subconscious. 

It is this motivation to kill those who stand in his way, his civility and self-control that defines Lecter as one of the most memorable villains in modern literature. Garrett argues that ‘we would like to imagine that people lose control and then do something horrible. But when Lecter escapes from prison by beating his guards to death, he does so deliberately, methodically, to the ever-so-civilised music of Bach’ (Garrett, 2007). Combined with his sociopath nature and his un-nerving ability to read people with direct precision, as he does to Clarice Starling on several occasions, it is no wonder that Lecter is seen as something from a nightmare. But his most unnerving trait is that he is human, he is not a supernatural being that is often related to the word evil, he is not the devil, he is a human being and that is the reality of the evil of the human psyche.  He is the image of what could happen to ourselves if we gave into what Freud would describe as our aggressive and violent desires, and it is this defeat that makes him able to commit evil acts.

Bibliography. 

• Cina, SJ & Perper, JA. When Doctors Kill, Springer 2010, pg 195-6. 
• Freud, S. Beyond the Pleasure Principle, from Penguin Freud Library 11: ON Metapsychology, The Theory of psychoanalysis, Penguin, 1964. Pg 269-339. 
• Fuss, D. Identification Papers, Routledge, 1995, pg 96-7. 
• Garrett, G. The Gospel According to Hollywood, Westminster John Knox Press, 2007, pg 71-2. 
• Goodrich, J. “A Textual Analysis of Dr Hannibal Lecter’s Character and Motivations in Thomas Harris’s Red Dragon and Silence of the Lambs”, as printed in Szumsky, B. Dissecting Hannibal Lecter: essays on the novels of Thomas Harris, Mcfarland, 2008, pg 37-47. 
• Hamilton, G & Jones, B. Encyclopaedia of American Popular Fiction, Infobase Publishing, 2009, pg 324-5. 
• Harris, T. The Silence of the Lambs, Yazoo Inc, 1988. 
• Hirschberg, J. Reflections of the Shadow: Creating Memorable Heros and Villians for Film and TV, Michael Wiese Productions, 2009, pg 91. 
• Kant, E. Religion Within the Limits of Reason Alone. Harper Torchbooks, New York, 1960. Pg 15-39.
• King, S. ‘Hannibal the Cannibal’, New York Times Book Review, 13^th June 1999. 
• Morton, A, On Evil, Routledge, 2004. 
• Svendsen, L & Pierce, KA, A Philosophy of Evil, Dalkey Archive Press, 2010, pg 22-3. 
• Winder, R. ‘A Contemporary Dracula’, New Statesman, 21^st June 1999. 

Favourite Photo Editing Apps

So, as someone who likes taking pictures of pretty much anything and far too many selfies on my iPhone I am always on the hunt for new photo editing apps to enhance the photos I take or give them a retro feel. So, I thought it's only fair that I share some of the ones I use the most and like. 

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Instagram. 

Cost: free

The last selfie I took of myself as a 22 year old! I turned 23 last weekend. Eep! 

Instagram is one of the most popular photo editing and sharing platforms used by smartphone owners of the moment. Over 100 million people have downloaded it! It offers several different filters to your image, most to help you create a vintage/retro look to your images. Much like twitter, tumblr and other such social networks instagram lets you follow your friends, celebrities, artists and other awesome people to keep up to date with their photos and lives. You can like other photos and make comments. It's a pretty standard setting and one that's so simple it's really took off. The one issue I have is that you can't share your likes with other people, which would help find people with similar interests and styles as yourself. You have unlimited uploads and sharing has never been easier with just a tap you can choose to share your images on facebook, twitter, tumblr, foursquare or send it in an email. I for one have met some lovely people through the app and am continuing to find more. Stores use the app for promotions and give aways and it's a fast growing community. My biggest grumble is that twitter won't allow your images to be seen in your feed, instead you have to click the link and go to a new page. But this is just a minor grumble. Additions to the instagram app is the instacollege app which allows you to put two images together in creative ways and offers different filters to the original app, however this does cost 69p. If you don't already have an instagram then get moving! :) If you'd like to follow me my username is: Amehduck . 

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Photoshop Express

Cost: free for lite or in-app purchases for more features range from 69p-£2.99

Edited in just photoshop. I'm so glad the flowers have started to bloom and have brought splashes of colour to the world again. :)

I have the free version of this app and the only extras I have purchased was the extra effects. This is one of my favourite photo editing apps to help define images with subtle changes to contrast, saturation or sharpening the image. I use it as a basic clear up before I put the photo into one of the other apps for filters as to be hones the filter effects on this app aren't the best and to be honest are too heavy most of the time so I rarely use them. It's another simple app to use with sliding effects to change contrast, for example, allowing subtle changes. I don't find it uses alot of my battery life as well, which some other apps I've used does. For free I think this is an app worth checking out and playing around with. 

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Afterlife

Cost: 69p

Note: I edited both images in Afterlight and then put the images together using Instacollege. 

I've only recently downloaded this app after someone on instagram mentioned it. I've only used it once but boy am I in love! As with the other apps this is simple to use and has a beautiful range of filters for different effects. Like the photoshop app Afterlife also comes with editing to the image directly (eg contrast, exposure) so it does mean I can skip the PS stage of my editing process. The real reason this app has got me got me head over heels is the camera film effects you can add. I adore film photography and I own my own Diana F+ Mini (though I have film that desperately needs developing!), I love the grain, the textures and the feeling of nostalgia for my childhood playing with my parents film camera. I'm really looking forward to use this app more and with it's beautiful design, multitude of editing possibilites (I can't wait to use the borders) I can already tell this is 69p well spent! 

ABeautifulMess

Cost: 69p plus in-app purchases from 69p. 

Say Hi to my new three little gerbils! :)

Anyone who knows much about the blogging world will know about Elsie and Emma's A Beautiful Mess blog. I've been following them for a long time now and when they announced they were releasing a photo editing app I was very exciting! Now this app was released last week and is already proving to be a hit with various bloggers and instagramers. The main reason I love this app is that it allows you to put a personal, quirky touch to your images whether this is is with a personal message or a cute border they certainly give you new options. HOWEVER, there is a pretty big grumble with this app is that depsite already paying 69p alot of the extras cost more if you want more than the basic package (and it is pretty basic). At another 69p for each extra it soon adds to a few pounds. Ok, that's still very cheap and I maybe I shouldn't be so irked but I can see it putting people off purchasing the app. Despite this I'm looking forward to, hopefully, new content being added in the future and seeing the app grow into itself. As with the others this is a simple app to use and allows easy sharing with instagram, twitter, facebook and others. 

I hope you enjoyed this post and maybe gave you an idea to try a new app. I'll give the low down if I discover anymore gems in the appstore. Would you like to see more review posts? I'll happily review books, films, music, recipes and anything really! Enter any thoughts in the comment box. :)

She opened her eyes to see, She was the one for me

Hi! I'm back from my holiday from Devon and since being back I've already got my creative head on. A few weeks ago I found a tutorial for a simple straight line skirt and I already had bought some fabric from the NEC sewing for pleasure exhibition that I had already bookmarked for a skirt. 

The tutorial is simple to follow and it's a really simple design that is perfect for a casual day look. The elastic waist is also friendly for people like me who can be prone to bloating a bit after big meals! It's also so cute for summer days out! 

The only problems I had with this were:

•  I measured the elastic to fit exactly to my waist but when I put it on it's really loose. Next time I'll make it an inch or two smaller so it fits more snugly and allows for my continuing weight loss aims. 
•  Make sure you leave about two inches of the side sem free or else it's a nightmare when you thread the elastic through later! 
•  I used a zigzag stitch on my machine but my Mum said a straight would be better, I didn't really realise until it was almost finished. 

If you'd like to have a go yourself then the tutorial by Brett Bara is here. 

You can also purchase her book on amazon here, I already have it on my wishlist!

Outfit Details:

Denim shirt - charity shop and diy, skirt - diy, belt - new look. 

I can see clearly now the rain is gone

Staying positive is a really hard thing to do, I think with all the media that's thrown our way it's so easy to get down and only see the negatives in life. It's hard to pull yourself out of that cycle but when you do, oh does it feel wonderful.

I started 2013 wanting to work on my positivity, I have trouble staying optimistic and little things can really get me into a seemingly endless sadness to the point of not wanting to do anything but lie in bed staring at the walls. I realised how much of life I'm just throwing away and therefore I decided I wanted to take 2013 as a new year and start finding and counting my blessings. Some days are obviously easier than others, as the classic Coldplay song goes 'No-one said it was easy, no-one ever said it would be so hard".

I want to share with you some of the little things that have helped me start embracing life as fully as I can again.

Count your blessings. 
Every few days (I don't make it a thing I have to do everyday because then it seems like a chore) I write down the things that have made me smile, laugh or made me happy. Some of these are special days spent with loved ones, other days are just being thankful that I have people who care and love me. Anything can go into this growing list, from making a really tasty sandwich to seeing the first flowers bloom in the garden. I use this book when I feel sad, it's full of little memories now that I can fall back on when things get too much. Having a written record is great for this, you could even do one on your computer if that suits you but I love seeing my handwriting and the act of writing these things out.

Get a hobby. 
In the last few months I've got back into sewing, something I hadn't done since I was a little girl, and now I have several creative projects lined up to do. Finding something you enjoy helps keep you motivated but also is a great stress or anxiety outlet. I was so overwhelmed one afternoon that I grabbed my scissors and material and ended up making a new cushion cover by the end of the evening and I felt so much better for it. I also find baking is a huge anxiety release, when things got really stressful at university I would whip up a batch of cupcakes and sometimes it helped release that stress - and gave me something yummy at the end! I personally find the hobbies that have a physical 'object' at the end of each session are the best for me. I also find working with my hands helps distract any anxiety symtoms such as hyperventilating and has also had positive effects on my neurological conditions symtoms. n days when I either feel too unwell to leave my bed I find reading is also a good outlet. I've loved reading since I knew what a book was, and my family have always referred to me as a bookworm. I find being able to drift into another reality therapeutic as a very simple hobby. Other examples could be photography (which would also help get you out the house), knitting, creative writing, playing or learning a new instrument or origami.

Try to exercise more.
So we're always hearing how good exercise is for staying healthy and increasing/maintaining fitness but guess what it has another advantage! During exercise our body releases endorphins and lifts our mood, anyone who works out regularly can testify to the exhilarated mood after a good work out. Obviously this doesn't mean you need to go forking out for gym memberships and the such, even having a walk has the same effects on the body. I personally do, almost daily, my neuro-physio excersises, a mix of yoga and tai-chi I've adapted to my health conditions and last week I started the 30 day squat challenge. I also enjoy swimming, but due to my health constraints I have to be with someone and have to be feeling well enough to do it. I know when you're really down finding the energy to do exercise cna make you feel more exhausted but doing just a little of something really has positive effects on the physical and psychological aspects of our bodies.

Meditation and breathing techniques. 
I've added this even though I find it so hard to switch my mind off, after years of trying I still can't master it! But I know it's been really helpful for others, and even slowing down our minds for five minutes can have those uplifting effects. Look online for tips on breathing techniques (which are amazing during anxiety attacks!) and meditation. From what I've heard and read it is something that takes some mastering so I still try when my mind starts making quantum leaps!

Try not to compare yourself to others. 
I for one know how difficult this is but it's integral to being positive about your life. Instead of seeing what everyone else has achieved write a list of everything you have achieved. Even the littlest things like getting through a tough period and still standing is worthy of this. We're all individuals and comparing ourselves to everyone else just makes us miserable. It's another thing that would probably help keeping a written record of to remind ones self on bad days.


These are just five suggestions but there are so many more out there. I would suggest that if a low mood or anxiety is directly affecting your daily life then it would be a good idea to speak to someone you can trust like a doctor, teacher or relative even just to chat. Sometimes we need someone who we don't know just to listen and give us a bit of a helping hand and there's no shame in that. Working towards a more positive lifestyle and attitude towards life may not be the easiest thing to do but it's worth it. I'll post any other tips and ideas to help when I can think of some more but I think these are the ones that in general have helped the most.

Two simple recipes

As I've mentioned before, since going vegetarian last June and vegan this new year I've taken a huge interest in food and what's in it. I think these days there are too many shortcuts that are full of unhealthy additives, salt and sugars that really just aren't necessary. Although I'm not a perfect advocate for healthy eating (crisps, biscuits, cake and sweets still feature in my diet!) I've been working hard at making healthier main meals that have a wide range of veggies or fruit, are tasty and challenge my growing skills as a cook. Nothing really beats the feeling of satisfaction of cooking a wholesome, healthy meal that others can enjoy. It's one of my favourite feelings, and I love the smell of food cooking or baking in kitchens, makes it seem so homely. 

I've been asked by people on instagram and tumblr to post some of my recipes and I did start once but now I have this blog I'll try and put in some of my successes more often. I probably should also start looking for some tips on taking good photos of my creations as well! I want to share today two simple recipes that I made yesterday and today for the evening meal shared with my Mum (though just me tonight cos she's out). These are great recipes for summertime and I can't wait to be introducing them more often into the weekly meal plan and also trying out some variations. 

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Baked basil tofu pasta with mixed vegetables in a tomato sauce. 

This is a simply tasted summery pasta dish. I love how I was able to use the leftover veggies in the fridge and there are so many variations to this dish. You could also make it with a little chilli for the colder months. Other variations could include olives, feta cheese, spinach, chilli, various oils and different marinades. Instead of tofu you could instead have diced chicken or turkey breast. It really is a simple recipe that can suit whatever is in your fridge/cupboards. 

To serve 2. 

Ingredients: 

5 tbsp Extra Virgin Olive Oil infused with Basil (in the UK you can get this in Sainsburys)

200g firm or extra firm tofu

2 cups Pasta (I used gluten free)

1 tin chopped tomatoes

Fresh or dried basil

1 cup mushrooms

Half cup of onions (I used spring onions this time as we had some in)

2 cloves of garlic

1 Pepper 

100g beansprouts (I had some that needed using up)

10 cherry tomatoes 

Method: 

1. Either in the morning or an hour before cooking take your tofu and wrap in paper towels and then place between two plates to drain the water out for 15 minutes. Once the tofu is drained (it feels alot drier) cut into cubes and mix with whatever marinade you desire. For this version I placed the tofu in 4tbsp of the basil infused olive oil and left standing for 10 minutes (I would do this in the morning next time to allow more flavour absorption). 

2. Preheat your oven to 200 degrees centigrade or equivalent.  

3. Once oven is hot place the tofu onto a baking tray (foil is really useful to place underneath to protect your trays!) and place into the middle of the oven. The cubes take around 30-40 minutes to bake with turning them over after 20 minutes. 

4. Once the tofu is in the oven you can start chopping your veggies. I always do this in order of cooking and place them into bowls. The first bowl will have the chopped garlic cloves, mushrooms and onion in. The second bowl had the cherry tomatoes (halved) and sliced pepper. I find this just causes less stress as I'm prepared in advance. 

5. Heat the last tbsp of oil in a frying pan or wok and once hot stir fry the garlic, onion and mushrooms under a med-hot heat. Once they start to soften add the peppers, and tomatoes and continue to fry for about another 3 minutes before adding the beansprouts. 

6. Once everything is starting to brown in the pan add the chopped tomatoes and either the freshly sliced or dried basil. Turn the heat down to a simmer and allow to cook. Keep stirring now and again to prevent any sticking, if you find there is I find adding a little water helps.

7. Boil salted water in a saucepan and add your pasta when the water is boiling. Cook per instructions on packet.

8. Once your pasta is cooked, drain the water out and add directly to the vegetable mix. Mix together until the pasta is coated with the tomato sauce. 

9. Serve the pasta and vegetables, the tofu should be cooked by now so take out the oven and spoon onto the top of the mixture. 

10. Garnish with either fresh basil or watercress for a more summery look. 

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Simple couscous salad with falafel. 

Middle Eastern cuisine is an oasis for vegans, there is limited meat and the only substitutions that usually need to be made is changing to soy instead of dairy ingredients. Last summer I had my first go at making a basic tabbouleh salad and I loved it so much, along with how quick and easy it is to make it's become a staple for when I fancy a lighter meal. This is also one of those times where I did cheat a little, the falafel balls in this recipe are bought frozen from Tesco's meatfree range. Making falafel does take some time and therefore isn't always time-friendly. Though if you do want to have a go at making your own there are lots of different recipes on the internet to try. Again, this is another meal with so many variations! Usually you'd have crushed garlic in with the tabbouleh but I have none at the moment and I like it with just lemon and mint. You could add different fruits for an exotic salad (raisons go really well!) and again, feta cheese, olives or any of your favourite salad ingredients can be utilised. You could also serve this with a yoghurt (soya or dairy) based dip or some houmous. This meal works great as a lunch as well as a main meal and the tabbouleh can be eaten cold and is still tasty. 

To serve 1. 

Ingredients: 

Half cup of wholewheat couscous

1 tbsp lemon juice

1 tbsp mint sauce (you can use fresh mint as well)

3 frozen falafel balls 

1 cup lettuce

1 tomato

Quarter cup cucumber

1 spring onion

2 celery sticks

1 pepper

3 baby beetroots

Method: 

1. Preheat your oven to the temperature guided by the packet of falafel and bake for approx 20 minutes.

2. Mix the lemon juice, couscous and mint sauce in a saucepan and add enough boiling water to just cover the couscous. 

3. Heat the couscous over a medium heat until air bubbles appear, remove from the heat and let stand. 

4. Prepare and chop all your salad ingredients and place into a bowl. 

5. Add the tabbouleh mixture on top and then the falafel balls when they're cooked. Garnish with salad cress.  

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Hope you all have fun cooking! If you'd like to see more of my meals please follow me on instagram. I'd love to know if you'd like to see more of my meals/baking feature on here and any questions pop in the comment box. 

Amy. x

Feet don't fail me now take me to the finish line

I'm back! Well truthfully I've been back a few days but I've been dizzy and was a bit down so just wanted to curl up and hide under my duvet with my books. But I'm feeling much better now, I've had some inspiring news regarding taking a Masters degree later in my life and for the first time in a long time I woke up feeling more excited and invigorated about life again. 

I started the 30 day squat challenge today, I find the up and down movements hard with my dizziness but taking my time helps. Once it's over hopefully they'll be a change in my body and I'll post the before and after shots! I'm also trying out some new yoga movements this week as I really want to start working on my fitness even before I'm well enough to take on proper regular exercises, such as running. I eat pretty healthily (I do have naughty treats but they are added to my daily calorie count!) and try to get a good mix of different foods (being a vegan this is even more important to ensure I'm getting the right vitamins). I find it easier when I'm at home to keep on my diet plan, being around Jonathan menas I treat myself more and get a bit lax on the calories. This is something I'm working on when I'm away, having the strength to say no is hard sometimes! 

I've got a few blog post ideas so keep your eyes peeled! :) 

Outfit details: 

White t-shirt - H&M, Floral patterned culottes - Miss Selfridge, Black Tights - Marks and Spencers, Black Lace Up Ankle Boots - Urban Outfitters, Thick Leather-look Belt - Primark. 

Food Glorious Food: The 'Instafood' Craze

Mixed Tabbouleh Salad.

I seem to talk about food alot on here, it's vital for survival and as I said in a previous post since becoming vegan I've begun to take more pride in my food and I experiment more in the kitchen. I think one of the big influences on my cooking has been the 'instafood' craze on instagram, taking pictures of food. Now, I know alot of people hate this craze but I think it's great for sharing recipes and seeing how beautifully delicious food can look as well as taste. 

Vegetable curry while being cooked.

It has also had this effect that for the first time I've started to look at how I present the food I cook. I never put much thought in before and was happy to slap stuff on a plate and be done. I did obviously follow the specifications when I worked in a pub kitchen for over a year but it was only because it was my job. Now, I want to share my cooking with the world and by joining into the instafood craze I need to make my food look pretty. 

Roasted vegetables with lemon slices and bay leaves fresh out the oven.

I think vegan food is usually pretty on its own, I mean I use several vegetables and try to incorporate lots of colours and textures which contribute so much to the overall look of my dishes. I don't think I'll ever become talented at styling my food as by the time it comes to serve it all I can think about it getting it into my tummy! But I've noticed little things like how I put a dressing onto a salad or garnishes (which add a yummy herb) make a big difference to how your food looks, and since all our senses are linked - if it looks good we obviously want to eat it more. I guess the bottom line is I'm now taking pride in my cooking and not just for it's taste. Spending a few seconds making my food look pretty means that people are more inclined to get eating it. Plus not doing anything too fancy still maintains a home cooked element to the dish. 

Porridge made with water with added blueberries, desiccated coconut, dried cranberries, almonds and pumpkin seeds.

I think it may also be helping getting people eating healthier, I can't deny looking at a picture of brightly coloured fruit and vegetables makes my mouth water more than a chocolate bar does (not that I don't enjoy some vegan chocolate now and then). I think this has more of a positive influence than a negative on people's diets and it may encourage people to try different foods. 

Another part of this is taking pictures of our food when we're at restaurants and cafes. I think this is an excellent way for them to advertise their wares for free! I don't actually know if any companies use this currently but it would be something they could perhaps look into. Plus for normal people like me it means I can often see what the food looks like before I go somewhere and therefore decide if it looks tasty enough for me to visit. Again, another positive to this craze. 

Black Bean Chilli with rice and soya yoghurt.

I can't actually think of anything bad to the 'instafood' craze apart from people being grumpy. I'm all for the craze. :)

For anyone who would like to see more of my food adventures please follow me on instagram. 

Why wait to discover your dreams?

Wearing: Black pattern flatforms - Office, Black tights - Marks and Spencers, Denim Mini Skirt - Topshop, Black belt - Primark, Oversized cream blouse - Urban Outfitter's, Necklace - Etsy

I hope all my readers had a lovely Easter! I come from a non-religious family and I'm an atheist myself so it was never a big thing in my family bar chocolate. Now I'm older (and vegan) I didn't get any chocolate, apart from two eggs I had from Jonathan's Mum and Aunt when I was in Northern Ireland last. I did buy Phoebe the Lion King on dvd as an Easter present and I think it'll turn into a tradition now that she gets a new Disney dvd for Easter. She gets alot of chocolate from family already so I'd rather give her a little gift that lasts! I might look for some Easter crafts next year as she'll be two and able to do more. Though she did make an Easter card with my Mum for me! However you celebrate Easter or not at all then I hope you had a good weekend. 

Easter chick card made by Phoebe and my Mum. 

Since I have had three weeks at home before jetting back to Northern Ireland for Jonathan's birthday I've been wanting to work on some projects I keep putting off. I'm not the best person at always finishing something I've started because my mind and imagination are always jumping off to the next thing but I'm trying to remedy this habit. As a result I've been working on some sewing projects that date from Christmas. I've made my sister and my niece each their own cushion, my first ever go at quilting! I finished all the machine sewing yesterday and then tomorrow I'm going to do the fastenings and they'll be finished. Mum's helping me with some other projects that are a tad more complicated for my current skill level. 

 Wearing: Black shoes - charity shop, black tights - Marks and Spencers, Black PU skirt - River Island, Thin belt - Primark, Batwing jumper - Republic

When I get home, probably after my holiday to Devon with the family, I want to start work on a fabric covered noticeboard for my room with some of the pretty bird material I bought. I've also decided to paint my feature wall in my room cream like the rest of my room instead of wallpaper because I want to carry on my collection of pretty paintings and prints of animals and things. I currently have two owl paintings that my Mum created for my birthday, two owl prints I got for 50p each at a market and a vintage style painting of finches by my Gran. Plus I need room for my hockey jersey! I'm not a minimalist person in style as I like lots of trinkets so I'm learning to balance that to make practical spaces without overcrowding - I can't wait to have a whole house to decorate! 

Finches Painting by my Grandmother. 

Another experiment of mine was a baking experiment. It being easter weekend I needed to make something sweet and yummy to celebrate and I was entranced to make the mini pineapple upside down cakes from A Beautiful Mess. Obviously, I would need to adapt the recipe to make it vegan so I used my now trusty cake batter mix (it's for a red velvet cake but I just leave out the chocolate and food colouring and it makes a gorgeous batter that has tricked many into not knowing it was vegan!). I also changed the whiskey in the recipe for amaretto as I'm not a big whiskey fan and we didn't have any in anyways! The results were the best pineapple upside down cakes I've ever made! I've made them before but never thought to put a caramel layer under the pineapple and it makes such a difference. These are now my go-to party cakes and I'll be whipping up a batch for Jonathan's work colleagues next week! 

My vegan mini pineapple upside down cakes.

Currently Reading: Syd Moore's 'Witch Hunt'

Currently Listening: Deftones - Koi No Yokan

I've had three outfits here to show you as I've been a tad behind. I'm trying to brace more spring attire despite the cold temperatures for the UK. Today it was actually sunny and a lovely 8 degrees which was very welcome! It's not quite at the stage where I can not wear tights but my cute summer dresses will be hopefully be making more of an appearance now. The only things I want to buy clothes wise this spring/summer is a new swimming costume for my Devon holiday (probably not ready confidence wise for a bikini yet though with my latest weight gain) and some pretty walking around sightseeing sandals. I want some decent long lasting sandals that are going to last from May until the end of September when I go to Athens so any suggestions of brands are welcome (no leather or suede or flipflops though!).

Wearing: 

Tan brogues - Urban Outfitters, Black tights - Marks and Spencers, Green retro bow pattern dress - Primark, Tan belt - New Look, Pink Lace top - Urban Outfitters, Owl necklace - Accessorize. 

Ps. I'm selling some of my old or unworn clothes on eBay. 

Less than a day left to bid but any that don't sell will be auctioned again.